Find me a find, Catch me a catch

 

 

 

 

Beraysheet: Ch. 23--Chayei Sara

Now Sara’s life was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years,  [these were] the years of Sara’s life.  Sara died in Arba-Town—that is Hevron, in the land of Canaan.  Avraham did lament for Sara and wept over her. When Avraham arose from the presence of his dead, he spoke to the Sons of Het, saying:

“I am a sojourner settled among you;

give me [title to] a burial holding among you,

so that I may bury my dead one from before me.”

 

The Sons of Het answered Avraham and said to him:

Hear us, my lord!

You are one exalted by God in our midst—

in any of the choicest of our burial-sites you may bury your dead;

no man among us will deny you his burial-site for burying your dead!

Avraham proceeded to bow low to the People of the Land, to the Sons of Het,  and spoke with them, saying:

If it be then according to your wish

that I bury my dead still in my presence,

hear me and petition  for me to Efron son of Tzohar,  that he may give me [title to] the cave of Makhpela, that is his, that is at the edge of his field;

for the full silver-worth let him give me [title] in your midst for a burial holding.

Now Efron had was a member of the Sons of Het, and Efron the Hittite answered Avraham in the ears of the Sons of Het,  of all who had entry to the council-gate of his city,

saying:

Not so, my lord, hear me!

The field I give-as-gift to you,

and the cave that is therein, to you I give it;

before the eyes of the Sons of My People  I give  to you—

bury your dead!

Avraham bowed before the People of the Land and spoke to Efron in the hearing of the People of the Land, saying:

But if you yourself would only hear me out!

I will give the silver-payment for the field;

accept it from me,

so that I may bury my dead there.

Efron answered Avraham, saying to him:

My lord—hear me!

[A piece of] land worth four hundred silver weight,

what is that between me and you?

So your dead, go bury!

 

Avraham hearkened to Efron:

Avraham weighed out to Efron the silver-worth

of which he had spoken in the hearing of the Sons of Het—

four hundred silver weight at the going merchants’ rate.

 

Thus was established the field of Efron, that is in Makhpela, that faces Mamre, the field as well as the cave that is in it, and the trees that were in all the field, that were in all their territory round about,  for Avraham as a owned property, before the eyes of the Sons of Het, of all who had entry to the council-gate of his city.

Afterward Avraham buried Sara his wife  in the cave of the field of Makhpela, facing Mamre [that is Hevron], in the land of Canaan.  Thus was established the field as well as the cave that is in it for Avraham as a burial holding, from the Sons of Het.

 

 

1.    Which is Judaism’s ideal burial?

a)   Burial under a tree to better return to nature

b)  Burial in the salt flats of Dead Sea (Hence the name of the sea)

c)   Burial in a grave in or close to Jerusalem

d)  Scattering of ashes after cremation over the Jordan River

e)   Burial of ashes in space via rocket launch

 

2 . Why does a Rabbi need to be present at a Jewish funeral?

a)   To say “El Malei Rachamim,” a prayer in memory of the person who passed

b)  To say “Tziduk Hadin” a prayer about judgement and God

c)   To sprinkle holy water on the coffin

d)  To shovel the first shovel of earth into the grave

e)   Dude, You don’t need a rabbi present, just a Jew who knows the service

 

3.    What are the traditional components of a Coffin for jewish burial?

a)   Wood. 

b)  Wood and cloth.

c)   Wood,  cloth,  and copper or silver for the Jewish star on top.

d)  Wood, cloth, and as much iron or steel as possible.

e)   Wood lined with special anti-fungal plastic and cloth is now standard.

 

But in Israel, often just a tallit is all you need to bury someone.

 

4.   What do we *not* do at a Jewish funeral?

a.   Place flowers on the casket

b.   Offer food to the memory of the dead

c.    Say Psalms

d.   Tell stories

e.    Put water from Israel into the grave

f.     Put soil from Israel into the grave

g.   Study Torah

h.   Put anything into the grave

i.     Tell jokes

j.     Read the will

k.   Share a toast

 

5.   Upon returning from a cemetery, what does Jewish practice say one should do before entering a home?

a)   Rub one’s hands with salt

b)  Wash one’s hands

c)   Take off one’s shoes and leave them outside

d)  Wash one’s feet

e)   Say Shema Yisrael and V’ahavtah

 

 

6.   How many days does Shiva last in our time?

a)   Shiva is only a day long.

b)  2 days.  People have to get to work.

c)   Three days.

d)  Six days. A week would be too much.

e)   Shiva is seven days. Like the Hebrew number for seven, dude.

 

7.   What  should people not do at a shiva house?

a.   Tell jokes

b.   Laugh

c.    Pray

d.   Ring the doorbell

e.    Mentioned the departed.  Totally tactless, dude.

 

 

8.   What are some of the things Jews mourning a loved one do not do, even when shiva is done, but mourning continues for a month or year?

a.   Wearing leather shoes

b.   Drinking Wine

c.    Experience live music

d.   Going to Synagogue

e.    Go to a movie in a theater. Too pubic, dude.

 

 

9) What is the memorial prayer we say only for a parent, sibling, spouse or child on the anniversary of their death?

      a) Ein Kemocha

b) Kadish Yatom

c) Kadish Shalem

d) Etz Chaim Hee

e) Mi Kamocha

 

 

10)  But I want to say kaddish for my beloved and dear great Aunt Schmutzie, my mom’s father’s sister’s best friends’ roommate’s cousin’s dog walker!

a) You need permission from your rabbi.

b) You can if your rabbi gives you a document written  in Hebrew called  a kodashim.

c)  It’s allowed-- if you are not Orthodox.

d) You have to learn a special version of Mourners Kadish since you are not her child,  called Kaddish Le’itchadetah.

e)  You should simply learn Torah and give tzedakah in her memory instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER 24:42-67 

Eliezer’s Oath/Rivkah’s Journey

 

Now Avraham was old, advanced in days,  and Adonai had blessed Avraham in everything.

Avraham said to his servant, the elder of his household, who ruled over all that was his:

“Please put your hand under my thigh!  I want you to swear by Adonai, the God of Heaven and the God of Earth,  that you will not take a wife for my son from the women of the Canaanites, among whom I am settled;   rather, you are to go to my land and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son, for Yitzhak.”

The servant said to him:

“Perhaps the woman will not be willing to go after me to this land;  may I then bring your son back there,  back to the land from which you once went out?”

Avraham said to him:

“Take you care that you do not ever bring my son back there!  Adonai, the God of Heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from my kindred,  who spoke to me, who swore to me, saying:  I give this land to your offspring—  God will send God’s  messenger on before you,  so that you take a wife for my son from there.   Now if the woman is not willing to go after you,  you will be clear from this sworn-oath of mine;  only: You are not to bring my son back there!”

The servant put his hand under the thigh of Avraham his lord,  and swore to him [an oath] about this matter.

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 The servant took ten camels from his lord’s camels and went, all kinds of good-things from his lord in his hand, and arose and went to Aram Of-Two-Rivers, to Nahor’s town.

He had the camels kneel outside the town at the water well, at the time when the water-drawers go out, and said:

"O Adonai, God of my lord Avraham,

pray let it happen today for me, and deal in loyalty with my lord Avraham!  Here, I have stationed myself by the water spring as the women of the town go out to draw water.  May it be that the maiden to whom I say: Pray lower your pitcher that I may drink, and she says: Drink, and I will also give your camels to drink—let her be the one whom you have decided on for your servant, for Yitzhak,by means of her may I know that you have dealt in loyalty with my lord."

And it was, while he not yet had he finished speaking, when here, Rivka came out,

who had been born to Betuel, son of Milca, wife of Nahor, brother of Avraham,

her pitcher on her shoulder.  She went down to the spring, filled her pitcher and came up again. And the servant ran to meet her and said:

“Pray let me sip a little water from your pitcher!”

 She said:

“Drink, my lord!”

And in haste she let down her pitcher on her arm and gave him to drink.

[When] she had finished giving him to drink, she said:

“I will also draw for your camels, until they have finished drinking.”

And in haste she emptied her pitcher into the drinking-trough;

then she ran to the well again to draw,

and drew for all his camels.

It was, when the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a gold nose-ring, a half-coin in weight, and two bracelets for her wrists, ten gold-pieces in weight, and said:

“Whose daughter are you? Pray tell me! And is there perhaps in your father’s house a place for us to spend the night?”

She said to him:

“I am the daughter of Betuel, son of Milca, whom she bore to Nahor.  And yes, there is straw, yes, plenty of fodder with us, [and] yes, a place to spend the night!"

The man did homage and bowed low before Adonai...

 

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The servant meeets Rivkah's family, including her brother Lavan, and explains his mission. The family  is impressed by the wealth he is displaying, and is familliar with the distant relative of the family who has sent him.  The family considers his offer, and then...

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“Let us call the girl and ask [for an answer from] her own mouth.”

They called Rivka and said to her:

“Will you go with this man? ‘

She said:

“I will go.”

So they sent off Rivka their sister with her nurse, and Avraham’s servant with his men,  and they gave Rivka farewell-blessing and said to her:

“Our sister, may you become thousandfold myriads!

May your descendants conquer the gate of their enemies! “

Rivka and her maids arose, they mounted the camels and went after the man. And the servant took Rivka and went off.

Now Yitzhak had gone out from where you come to Be’er Lehai Ro’i/"The Well of the Living-One Seeing-Me", for he had settled in the Negev. And Yitzhak went out to meditate in the field around the setting of the sun. He lifted up his eyes and saw: here, camels coming!

And Rivka lifted up her eyes and saw Yitzhak; she dropped down from the camel and said to the servant: “Who is that man over there that is walking in the field to meet us?”

The servant said: “That is my lord.”

So she took a veil and covered herself.

And the servant recounted to Yitzhak all the things that he had done.

Yitzhak brought her into the tent of Sara his mother; he accepted Rivka and she became his wife, and he loved her.  In this, Yitzhak finally found comfort after (the death of) his mother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Midrash- Beraysheet Rabba, 68:4)

 

A Roman Matron (a woman of wealth) asked Rabbi Yossi ben Halafta, “In how many days did your God create the world?” “In six,” he answered. “And since then,” she asked, “what has your God been doing?”  “Matching couples for marriage,” responded R. Yossi.

“That’s it?!” she said dismissively. “Even I can do that. I have many slaves, both male and female. In no time at all, I can match them for marriage.” To which R. Yossi countered, “Though this may be an easy thing for you to do, for God it is as difficult as splitting the Sea of Reeds.”

At this, she went home. The next day the aristocrat lined up a thousand male and a thousand female slaves and paired them off before nightfall. The morning after, her estate resembled a battlefield. One slave had his head bashed in, another had lost an eye, while a third hobbled because of a broken leg. Not one seemed to want his or her assigned mate. Quickly, she summoned R. Yossi and acknowledged: “Your God is unique and your Torah is true, pleasing and praiseworthy. You spoke wisely.”